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Social Skills: How to Work a Crowd

By Diane Darling

January 01, 2002 — CIO — Not long ago, I found myself on a 45-foot sailboat cruising the Maine coast. Shivering on deck in a cold rain, I struck up a conversation with a man who turned out to be a senior executive for a technology company. Over the next hour, our conversation took many twists and turns, and a few weeks later, I felt comfortable enough to ask him to be an adviser for a new Web company I was starting up.

Such ideal circumstances, of course, are few and far between, but you can make the most of almost any networking opportunity if you know how. A business dinner, the hospitality suite at a conference, a quarterly board meeting?all are suitable occasions for making the right connections. But it takes patience, time and humor to convert the chance encounter into a mutually beneficial relationship. So slow down and take charge of the moment. And remember, when networking catapults from a casual chat to a hard sell, your quarry may lose interest fast.

Here then are a few specific suggestions for planting the seeds that could grow into oaks.

Plan and practice

As a CIO, you frequently get invited to trade shows, conferences and other invitation-only events that offer great networking opportunities. Executives from your own company might be there as well as CIOs, CEOs and CFOs of other organizations. Dan Bricklin, CTO and founder of Trellix, a Concord, Mass.-based Web platform and managed hosting service provider, says he always practices ahead of time what he is going to say. (Think of it as taking the stage to rehearse a few lines.) He also researches the dress code, tries to find out who else is coming and nails down the directions. For Bricklin, there’s nothing worse than being late for an important event. (Hint: If it’s black tie, men should try on their tux when the invite arrives, not the night of the event?just in case the tux no longer fits.)

Another thing to do in advance is think of three topics that are specific to the event. Talk about the city, great food, climate and so on. It may feel fake at first. The reality is you are finding common interests. Everyone likes to do business with people who have similar interests. The more commonalities you can reveal, the more likely you’ll be to get a next meeting.

While there, make the most of your time

Contrary to popular belief, networking is not an opportunity for free food. If you are truly starved, go to the food table, get a plate and hide in the corner for a minute. Then get a drink?carry it in your left hand so that the right is free for shaking hands?and start to meet people. (Breakfast hint: Skip the onion bagels.)

 

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