Too Few Manners at Work

CIO — Work might be a bit more pleasant for everyone if more people practiced good manners at the office, whether it's remembering to say please and thank you or waiting one's turn to talk.

Only about a third of senior executives and managers say that people in their departments or organizations always practice good manners, according to a global survey my company, NFI Research, conducted this summer.

This is not good news for those who aren't using their manners, because the majority of business leaders say that good manners are extremely important to advancing a person's career.

"Saying please and thank you, knowing how to shake someone's hand properly and how to use the right fork at a dinner have become even more important in the last few years," according to one survey respondent. "It's not being taught in the schools, so someone who has those skills is a standout."

"Most of our people are above age 35 so they were taught some manners by their parents and schools," observed another. But if managers were not taught good manners while growing up, it is unlikely that they will learn them inside the pressured environment of today's workplace.

Manners are one of the casualties of today's do-more-with-less era. "Manners and courtesy are the first to suffer during times of pressure and stress," said one survey respondent. "People answer their cell phones during meetings, type on their Blackberries, walk in on closed-door discussions and generally behave rudely. There is a belief that pressure and stress are valid excuses for those behaviors, and when demonstrated by persons in positions of rank or authority, there is reluctance to correct or challenge them."

Some of the issues of manners come not from the workplace but from how the individuals were brought up.

Common Rudeness
The lack of good manners manifests itself in many ways, some small and subtle, others significant and obvious.

"Most of us work remotely," says one manager, "and I'm aghast when folks eat crunchy chips during a conference call. They apologize for doing it, but keep right on chomping." Interrupting others is also a common problem, this manager notes. Meanwhile, if the speaker is on a speakerphone, the opposite problem occurs. People on the other end can't always hear the interruption. "No one can even jump in to ask a question."

Said another respondent: "It surprises me that rude language is becoming more common in the workplace. Courtesies such as please, thank you and being polite go a long way. Just because you are busy is no excuse."

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