You're not paranoid. Everyone is watching you. Fact is, the typical executive feels like they are living in the Sting song "Every Breath You Take." Everyone is watching "every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take..." for a sign of who you are and what you care about.

The realization is daunting to new executives. I remember my first week as a CIO. I couldn't walk down a hallway without wondering if I was suffering from a wardrobe malfunction.

There is power in all the attention—if you use it wisely. We all know stories of leaders who, through simple but powerful actions, quickly communicated their leadership agenda. I recently heard about a new superintendent of a school district who, in response to some neighborhood complaints about kids walking on homeowners' lawns, took the time to drive down to observe the trampling-in-action and resolve the situation. What made the story worth repeating was that the superintendent's behavior stood in stark contrast to that of the local principal who had simply dismissed the issue as one outside the school's control. What made the story powerful was that it was clear to everyone that the superintendent intentionally selected the incident to communicate in actions what he had already communicated in words—that he expected the principals to know and take care of the kids and their community.

Unlike the superintendent, many leaders unconsciously condone behaviors that, if questioned, they would profess to oppose. I can think of CIOs who signaled to their organizations that teamwork was unimportant (by gossiping), that integrity was situational (by accepting gifts from vendors), that business collaboration was an elective (by spending most of their time in their office) and that strategy trumped results (by devoting most of their time to ideas versus deliverables).

The superintendent could have ignored the situation. Instead, he chose to demonstrate what it means to get close to the customer by making clear the priority that should be placed on feedback from the community and the kids. Similarly, a CIO who is interested in conveying the same message can do so by spending time talking with external customers and building relationships with business counterparts.

The key to powerful symbolic actions is that they are focused, unexpected and personal. Don't muddy the water by leveraging every teachable moment. Your behavior will be viewed as manic rather than measured. Choose behaviors that are in stark contrast to the past so that the stories are memorable and will be repeated. Finally, lead by example by demonstrating the behavior that you expect others to emulate. Here are some suggestions for dealing with particular challenges.