Android handset makers aren't making it easy to get Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich for your smartphone. But I'm here to help. Here's the simplest way to get ice cream sandwich on your Android device:
Step 1: Buy ice cream sandwich—I prefer Hershey's brand, but any ol' cream sandwich will do.
Step 2: Remove ice cream sandwich from packaging.
Step 3: Place ice cream sandwich on your mobile phone in the sun, read a few Mobile WorkHorse articles and return 20 minutes later.
Voila. Your Android is all ice cream sandwich'd out.
(Note: You're on your own in trying to get ice cream sandwich off of your Android phone. And if you're moronic enough to actually try this, you're also responsible for ruining your mobile device. And, yes, I know, I'm an [expletive].)