It's been really difficult using the Force to convince your HR manager or boss to see things your way: Your threats of turning fellow workers to the Dark Side sound hollow and that Jedi mind trick you've been working on for the past six months doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere. Your big promotion? You might as well be working in the Spice Mines of Kessel.
So what's left? Use the implicit wisdom and shared experiences of those inhabitants of a galaxy far, far away to raise your profile and keep your reputation free from coworkers' derogatory "bantha fodder" references.
"You have failed me for the last time, Admiral." -Darth Vader
File Under: Employer Selection; Workplace Culture; Employee Grievances
Star Wars Moment: Several Empire commanders are either choked, threatened or murdered for challenging Imperial authority and/or failing on their respective missions. In one memorable scene in Episode V, Captain Piett is quickly promoted to Admiral Piett just after the former Admiral Ozzel is choked to death by Lord Vader, due to his clumsiness and stupidity.
Real-World Lesson: If your company's chain-of-command allows for the somewhat indiscriminate sacking and/or killing of employees for speaking up or failing on business initiatives, find a job elsewhere.
"I suggest a new strategy, R2: Let the Wookiee win." -C-3PO
File Under: CRM; Relationship Building; Networking
Star Wars Moment: C-3PO advises R2-D2 to allow Chewbacca to win at a space-age chess game aboard the Millennium Falcon. Wookiees can "pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose," advises Han Solo. "Wookiees are known to do that."
Real-World Lesson: Always allow your boss or most important customer to beat you at golf, get the best seat at a restaurant and tell the same story you've heard 30 times before.
"Execute Order 66." -Darth Sidious (a.k.a. Dark Lord of the Sith, a.k.a. Chancellor Palpatine, a.k.a. The Emperor)
File Under: Recruiting; Employer Culture
Star Wars Moment: The Army of the Republic troops, which eventually become part of the evil Galactic Empire, are all clones, and we see the failings of "clone behavior" and the disastrous outcomes. Order 66 results in a mass Jedi murder.
Real-World Lesson: Individuality and entrepreneurial thinking are typically underappreciated in most organizations today, but companies with too many clones (a.k.a. "yes men") rarely enjoy sustained business success.
"Soon you will learn to appreciate me." -Jabba the Hutt (and his gross tongue)
File Under: Workplace Culture; Networking
Star Wars Moment: Princess Leia must sport virtually non-existent "slave" attire in Episode VI as she is forced to sit at the side of Jabba the Hutt in his main audience chamber and sail barge.
Real-World Lesson: Even if you look like Princess Leia (circa 1980s!), don't wear a bikini (or any revealing garb, for that matter) to poolside corporate events—real-life Jabbas will be watching.
"It's very dangerous putting them together. I don't think the boy can handle it." -Mace Windu
File Under: Human Capital Management; Succession Planning
Star Wars Moment: The Jedi Counsel assigns an impressionable and unstable Anakin Skywalker, who is supposed to bring balance to the Force, peace to the galaxy, etc., to serve as the "personal representative" for Supreme Chancellor Palpatine to the Jedi Council. Never mind that Palpatine makes most Jedi Knights uneasy and fear for the future of the Galactic Republic.
Real-World Lesson: Not the wisest idea to allow the "chosen one" and the best hope for the future of your company to be mentored or influenced by an individual you don't fully trust.
"You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." -Obi-Wan Kenobi
File Under: Retirement Strategies; Succession Planning
Star Wars Moment: An aged Obi-Wan Kenobi allows himself to be struck down by his former apprentice Darth Vader, who chastises Kenobi: "Your powers are weak, old man."
Real-World Lesson: Sometimes "more seasoned" and "longer tenured" employees will be asked to "take one for the team." How graceful will your exit be?
"Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans!" -Darth Vader
File Under: Project Management; Risk Management
Star Wars Moment: Rebels are able to acquire a secret set of plans to the Empire's Death Star, and eventually exploit a weakness and destroy the moon-size battle station.
Real-World Lesson: If you've got to nail "The Big Project," think carefully about the worst, most gaping vulnerability in the project. And don't, under any circumstances, allow that vulnerability to leak out onto, say, the Internet.