’Tis the season—the advice-giving season! Every spring, hundreds of thousands of young people graduate college to begin a new life—the working life. Some are bright, eager and enthusiastic; others are perplexed, concerned and wondering. All of them are educated (at least in theory), and all of them can make a contribution (OK, my theory). One of the many thousands this year is my son, Paul, who has a brand spanking-new degree in business and a full time job. Indeed I am blessed.

Before these kids matriculate into the real world, they must endure the annual commencement address. Big-name schools bring in presidents or ex presidents to share their wisdom; smaller schools bring in prominent alumni to do the same. No matter what the school, whatever the speaker, the advice flows freely. And judging by the reaction of most students I’ve observed going through this ritual, the advice goes right over their heads, preoccupied as they are with getting out of school and on with their lives.

So, if you have something to say, and want to catch their attention, a letter might be more appropriate. Unlike a commencement address, a letter can be a keepsake, something that can be referenced over time. So with your indulgence, here’s what I would write:

Dear College Graduate:

Your mother and I are very proud of you. We know how hard you have worked in the classroom as well as in your jobs to help pay for school. You have made sacrifices for your education, and now it is time to begin to reap some of the returns. Some will be financial. Others, the most important ones, will be those of the heart and spirit, the things that really matter. Some you have begun to reap already from family and friends; others will come from people whom you will meet along life’s path. Now as you enter the workplace, I’d like to share a few ideas gained from my experience as well as the experience of others.

Be open, but not too open. Communicate clearly. Let others know what you are doing and why you are doing it. Be a good team member. Share what you learn with others, and at the same time be open to the ideas of others, in particular those ideas better than your own. Openness breeds camaraderie and esprit de corps. But there are limits. You can—and should—separate work from life. Know your personal boundaries, and respect others’ too. Life is not all about work, nor is it all about play. And despite the platitudinous nature of that statement, it’s true! Make your choices and live with them.