Between all the holiday parties and good tidings sent in the form of greeting cards, special luncheons and Harry & David fruit baskets, the Yuletide season presents ample opportunities for business people to reconnect with one another, deepen their relationships and express their gratitude for colleagues’ and customers’ business and support.

And ample opportunities for good intentions to backfire. All it takes is one too many servings of hot buttered rum before someone is swinging from the chandeliers at the holiday party. Or wishing devoutly Jewish/Muslim/atheist business partners a Merry Christmas. Or giving an extravagant gift to a customer that smacks of a bribe. (To read about the luxuries vendors have offered to some CIOs, check out Doesn’t Matter If You’ve Been Bad or Good from the CIO magazine archives.)

Given all the potential missteps, it’s no surprise that many companies say “bah, humbug” when it comes to the holidays, especially to exchanging gifts internally and externally.

Wendy Cebula, the CIO of the Lexington, Mass.-based graphic design and printing company VistaPrint, says her company discourages gift-giving because thinking about what kinds of gifts to buy, for whom, and how much money to spend tends to generate more stress than goodwill among employees.

The business process outsourcing services provider US Technology Resources also frowns on exchanging presents. “We try to avoid giving holiday gifts internally and externally,” says Bob Dutile, US Technology Resources’ general manager of enterprise consulting. “The vast majority of our customers have fairly significant limits on accepting gifts, and we have our own limit on acceptance of gifts from our own external business partners.”

Companies seem to make up for any Grinch-like behavior by inundating the U.S. Postal Service with holiday cards. Dutile plans to send cards to 60 people this year, including 10 of his co-workers. He also plans to send a “Happy Holidays” e-mail to approximately 200 people in his organization. He sees sending out holiday greetings as an opportunity to keep in touch with associates. “We’re all so busy all the time. Sending cards around the holidays helps make sure you’re renewing that acquaintance even if you haven’t been in touch all year,” he says.

To make the holiday season as stress-free and productive as possible—and to prevent any awkward faux pas—we offer the following Do’s and Don’ts related to sending and receiving cards and gifts, and attending holiday parties.

On giving and receiving holiday gifts and sending cards…

Do…

• Heed corporate policies regarding the acceptance of gifts. Many companies prohibit their employees from accepting gifts valued over a certain amount of money. So before you bestow that $115 bottle of Sean Thackrey’s “Orion” Syrah on a client or business partner, find out if your recipient is allowed to accept gifts and if any price cap exists. Etiquette expert Peggy Post, the great granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post, recommends calling your recipient’s human resources department to find out if such a policy exists. Don’t forget to tell the HR rep who you are and why you’re inquiring. Giving an extravagant gift can look like a bribe, and your clients will respect you more if you don’t put them in a compromising position.
• Return gifts that violate your company’s policy on the acceptance of gifts. If you’re on the receiving end of a vendor’s largesse, there is a dignified way to return extravagant gifts. Post suggests writing a note to the giver that expresses your gratitude for the gesture and that explains that you can’t accept the bottle of wine or the Super Bowl tickets because of a company policy and state what the policy is. She also advises recipients to keep a copy of their note in case the gift-giving incident becomes an issue.
• Give your direct reports a gift. Post says small tokens such as gift certificates, plants and food items are a good way to express your gratitude for their hard work during the year.
• Be discreet. “If you’re going to give a gift to a coworker, do it discreetly,” says Post. She recommends making a lunch date with your coworker and presenting the gift to her then. Exchanging presents outside the office prevents awkward situations, such as other coworkers wondering why you didn’t give gifts to them, or making colleagues who chose not to exchange presents remorseful for their decision.
• Consider your recipients’ interests when selecting a gift. If you know, for example, that your assistant is an avid reader, give her a gift certificate to a book store. Putting some thought into your selection will make the gift more meaningful to the receiver. After all, there’s nothing that says, “I don’t care” more than a generic coffee mug.
• Be a sport. If someone organizes a secret Santa or Yankee swap, Post says buck up and participate.
• Say thank you. If you thank the giver in person, “be sincere,” says Post, adding that a hand-written thank you note is an extra touch. She says it’s especially important for employees to thank their bosses for gifts because the thank-you note presents an opportunity for employees to acknowledge the support and coaching their bosses have given to them throughout the year.