CIO — Perhaps SOA is not getting a fair chance in corporate IT because it lacks celebrity endorsements. We tracked down a number of well-known figures to give SOA a PR boost. (Apologies in advance if you get a parody error while reading these quotes.)

The late Don LaFontaine: "In world where stagnating corporate culture rules and legacy software has corporate IT beaten up, knocked out and tied down to monolithic applications, oppressed at every turn, helpless and crying out for a savior, one solution stands alone. Against the formidable odds of shrinking budgets, can SOA survive long enough to become a hero? If you never try an alternative architecture, you will never try SOA."

Senator Joe Biden: "Look, all you have to do is go down Pennsylvania Avenue with me and you ask Democrat there whether or not the IT policy of this administration has made them better off in the last eight years. And then ask them whether there's a single major SOA initiative that John McCain differs with the president on. On SOA taxes, on SOA in Iraq, on SOA in Afghanistan. The fact is whatever fact I want to make up at the moment. And this particular fact is that we have spent more on legacy programming in Iraq the last three weeks than we've spent the entire time trying to convert Afganistan to SOA. So the question is, do you want real change, or are you going to stick with the failed Bush programming policies responsible for the IT collapse? It will get even worse under McCain, who doesn't even know how to use the Internets."

Governor Sarah Palin: "Say it ain't so, Joe, again, there you go again pointing backwards again. Now doggone it, again, let's look ahead, again, and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. America needs to be putting a lot more focus on SOA Governance and I have experience with Governance. And service-oriented architecture is about service, and I come from a house full of servants. My grandma was a servant, my dad who is in the audience today, he's a servant, had been for many years. My great-great-great Uncle Floyd had a friend whose boss employed many servants. And here's a shout-out to all those servants making lunches at Gladys Wood Elementary School, and you students, you get extra credit for knowing how to spell SOA. Of course you know the difference between Senator Obama and a hockey mom? Dipstick."

Paris Hilton: SOA dissolves body fat, it's So-a cool!

Billy Mays: Billy Mays here to tell you that you don't have to write the same services over and over again. How many services do you have in your program? You can do it all with one SOA for three easy payments of $19.99. And if you call right now, we'll send you SOA and throw in SOA Governance for free. But wait, there's more. Call in the next 10 minutes and we'll send you a URL to download a Linux server absolutely free! And if you are not satisfied, return the SOA and keep the URL as our gift! Call NOW!

David Caruso: "You don't spend your IT budget on technology..." [puts on sunglasses] "...you're never going to use." [walks away]

Miss South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton: "I personally believe, that U.S. Americans, are unable to do SOA, because uh, some, people out there, in our nation don't have computers. And uh... I believe that our IT education like such as in South Africa, and the Iraq, everywhere like such as... and, I believe they should uh, our IT education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us U.S. Americans."

Pikachu: "Pika Pika"!!