While most people have heard of executive coaching, few have personal experience working with a coach. Here’s my view of the profession and process from seven years of working as an executive coach.

Truth be told, I was asked to be a coach before I knew what one was. Fortunately my ignorance wasn’t career-limiting, because no one else knew either. Over the past 15 years or so, executive coaching has emerged as a practice and is making a real difference in the lives, careers and businesses of many.

There are plenty of references that describe the various types of executive coaching, the benefits, and the ideal approach to selecting and working with a coach (for example, "The Wild West of Executive Coaching," Harvard Business Review). But I find that the literature falls short when it comes to disclosing the caveat emptor realities of executive coaching. If you are thinking about investing in executive coaching services, keep the following in mind.

Coaching is optional. You cannot force someone to participate in coaching. I have a client who wants me to work with one of his direct reports, but that person is not interested. In fact, the only thing the direct report is interested in developing is his golf game. While it might be possible for me to sell him on the benefits of coaching, it is ethically important that I pull back: A coach can’t change someone who is not interested in changing himself.

Coaching relationships are long-term. Once someone clicks with a coach, she is likely to stay with that coach, in some capacity or another, over the long haul. The initial relationship will be the most intense. With the foundation built, subsequent interventions will be targeted and efficient. Just as with a well-loved doctor or mentor, it doesn’t make sense to discontinue a relationship that continues to be useful. Senior managers who benefit from coaching and have their own budgets will find some way to pay for it, even if it’s not within company policy.

Coaches work for the client. My client’s interests trump those of his supervisor or company—regardless of who is paying the bill. Managers have input on the expected outcomes, but they cannot control the process or determine how their subordinates define success. I have a client who wants to start his own business in five years, and his motivation to change is driven by this objective. As a coach, I must respect this objective and help him move toward his goal.