by Martin Veitch

Improving on Jonathan Schwartz’s haiku (it can’t get verse)

Feb 04, 2010

Many watchers viewed the reign of Jonathan Schwartz at Sun Microsystems as a stint characterised by incomprehensible cryptic references and odd schemes that led to general lack of understanding and a dwindling audience. So when Schwartz on Wednesday said ‘sayonara and thanks for all the pay-offs’, taking his leave from the company that has become a wholly-owned subsidiary of Oracle Corp., it was only fitting that he did so in the form of a haiku, the form of Japanese poetry that, as you will know, employs up to three lines of a maximum 17 syllables.

Quoth he:

“Financial crisis Stalled too many customers CEO no more”

OK, so we can safely say that Basho isn’t turning in his grave, worried about a usurper to his reputation. But then the thought appears – especially when desperate for some blog traffic – that perhaps we can do better…

Sonnet On An iPad(with apologies to William Shakespeare)

Should I compare thee to an iPhone, eh? Thou aren’t more lovely but more sizeable Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May And Microsoft’s Tablet met an awful fate

The Rising Sun(with apologies to John Donne)

Busy old fool unruly Sun Why dost thou thus Through Windows and through Oracle call on us?

To Any CIO(with apologies to everybody else)

CIO! Come what may Stands for ‘Career Is Over’ Is what they say But what know they Compared t’ accounts IT’s a holiday

Actually, as these dismal lines suggest it’s a bit harder than envisaged so let’s just leave it there. But I welcome your suggestions for better (or verse) and there will be special prizes for all entries.