by Martin Veitch

If software companies were football teams…

Jun 18, 20092 mins
IT Strategy

I dare say some other genius has already tried this schtick but in the spirit of Friday afternoon (and the neverending battle for employment preserving hits) here is Another! Stupid! Tabloid! List! of software companies that have strangely morphed into professional football (that’s *soccer*, not the boring American variety) teams.

Microsoft would be Chelsea All the money in the world but it’s all come recently. They play to a precise, predictable formula and the only *loyal* fans work in City finance operations.

Google would be Arsenal Fancy footwork, nice location in central London, clever ideas and easy on the eye. The players are all young but a lot of the time all the good work goes nowhere. Best players have recently ended up demanding transfers.

IBM would be Manchester UnitedOld money and great tradition. Everybody ends up going there in the end, even if they don’t like them.

Xerox would be Newcastle UnitedWonderful people, loads of money for researching ways to win top prizes but they end up with nothing apart from a famous home and lots of old people saying how great bthey were once.

Oracle would be Real MadridForceful leader reeking of money, fine wine and cigars. The strategy is to buy anything that moves. It usually works in the end.

Red Hat would be Manchester City Started out with odds and ends donated by local community but somehow ended up with loads of money flooding in.

SAP would be Bayern Munich German, solid, hard-working and going their own way but nobody in the US cares about them apart from some people in California.

Yahoo would be BarcelonaWould turn down fortunes rather than trade their precious independence. Usually regarded as a mad world of their own by outsiders but capable of brilliance on the day. would be Inter MilanLed by a power-loving maverick and brilliant tactician, they are quite possibly the next best team in the world.

Oh, I dunno. Make up your own ones — and have a great weekend.