8 Low-Tech Solutions for High-Tech Problems

If you're like some people, you turn to decidedly low-tech solutions -- contraptions so simplistic, they're simply silly. In fact, some of them are downright hilarious.

High tech, meet low, low tech

Life these days is filled with advanced technology -- tiny touchscreens, on-demand video, and messages that reach recipients in a fraction of a second. But what happens when all that stuff doesn't work the way you want?

If you're like some people, you turn to decidedly low-tech solutions -- contraptions so simplistic, they're simply silly. In fact, some of them are downright hilarious.

Don't take my word for it. Check out these eight low-tech answers to high-tech problems and see if you can keep yourself from chuckling.

This slideshow "Funny fixes! 8 low-tech solutions for high-tech problems" originally appeared on ITworld.

Problem: You want to watch videos on your phone without anyone else seeing

Solution: TV Hat! This fashionable apparatus lets you discretely watch your smartphone's screen -- if by "discretely," you mean "with all the subtlety of a polka-dotted camel-goat."

The TV Hat uses a custom HD lens (translation: magnifying glass) and privacy shade (translation: fabric face saddle) to give you a personal home theater experience (translation: way to look like a total nimrod). And all for only $29.95 plus $7.95 shipping and handling!

On the plus side, if your goal is to encourage mimicry and avoid the possibility of ever engaging in sexual congress again, this product could be just the thing for you.

Problem: You get smudges on your smartphone screen

Solution: Phone Fingers! These absurd-looking finger condoms let you caress your device's display with no fear of leaving a smear behind. Because hey, there's nothing shameful about practicing safe swiping.*

Phone Fingers come in all sorts of colors and styles. You can get Classic Dork, Pro Dork, Mega Dork, or -- my personal favorite -- Super Ultra Dork. And you can pick from your choice of Doofus Black, Dingbat Blue, Goober Pink, or Numskull White. The models range from $20 to $45 and are all guaranteed to get you more glares than a full-fledged clown suit.

Try one today and never go through the hassle of gently wiping your screen again!

* Actually, there is.

Problem: You wish you could text just a little faster

Solution: Textees! These nerd-friendly nubbins put a stylus-like tip on your finger so you can tap your phone's keys at record-setting speeds. As a side perk, they'll scare away friends, co-workers, and potential mates (also at record-setting speeds).

In addition to helping you text fast, Textees promise to "significantly reduce typing errors" and make smartphone typing more fun than ever. Of course, after wearing these things for a few weeks, you probably won't have anyone left in your life to text with -- but that's another problem for another day.

A set of Textees will set you back $12.95 and any shred of dignity you still possess.

Problem: You can't remember your darned passwords

Solution: The Internet Password Organizer! Forget secure digital password management systems like LastPass and 1Password; this $8 glorified notebook gives you a bunch of pages on which you can write all your personal account details for anyone to see and/or steal.

The Internet Password Organizer, touted as the only product of its kind to be endorsed by "prominent professional organizers and media personalities," uses a highly advanced system of paper with lines. It comes in a variety of exclusive designs, including Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald, Tourmaline, Amethyst, and Onyx (also known as Blue, Red, Green, Pink, Purple, and Black).

Problem: You need a hands-free way to hold your phone

Solution: The Wristband iPhone Holder! This cutting-edge apparatus lets you wear your smartphone on your wrist so you can be as uncomfortable as possible all day long.

Aside from the pleasure of walking around with an awkward weight strapped to the bottom of your arm, the Wristband iPhone Holder enables you to easily flip your arm upside down to type with extreme discomfort at a moment's notice. The attachment even rotates 360 degrees so you can look like a fool from any angle.

The Wristband iPhone Holder costs a mere 40 buckaroos -- what a bargain! Be sure to pick up some Textees and Phone Fingers to use along with it for full effect.

Problem: Sound from your phone isn't loud enough

Solution: The iPhone Bugle Horn Speaker! Why get a sleek-looking and good-sounding smartphone speaker when you can get an enormous ugly one that sounds like crap?

The iPhone Bugle Horn Speaker, to quote its manufacturer, "will make your phone sound like it's been made a hundred years ago." That's right, kiddos: For the oh-so-affordable price of $25 plus $12 shipping and handling, you can get a gigantic funnel for your phone that'll sound worse than the tinny little speaker built into it. Yahtzee!

If you're interested in buying this, I have an awesome paper towel roll -- err, I mean Retro Amplification System -- I'd be willing to sell ya for $20.

Problem: You want physical prints of photos on your phone

Solution: The Impossible Instant Lab! This soon-to-launch contraption makes digital printing a thing of the past by attaching an actual Polaroid camera onto your smartphone's screen.

The Polaroid takes a snapshot of the image on your phone's display, then -- oh, yes -- prints out a Polaroid photo of the screen. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Fancy Cloud-Connected Photo Printer.

Rumor has it the company behind Instant Lab is also working on a Betamax camera that sits above your phone to record videos and a bucket that attaches to your device so you can figure out if it's raining.

Problem: The sound of your nails hitting your keyboard is too loud

Solution: The ClearKey laptop keyboard protection system! For $30, these pieces of sticky rubber will go over your individual keys and ever-so-slightly muffle the sound of your fingernails tapping them.

That description may not do the product justice, though. As SkyMall puts it, ClearKey will "reduce the clickity-clack of fingernails on keyboards," "reduce office noise" and "keep nails from slipping off keys."

Also worth considering: a two-dollar nail clipper, available at your local gas station, and a series of more meaningful life problems.

JR Raphael is a proud loud typist and clickity-clack connoisseur. You can find him on Google+, Twitter, or Facebook.

Copyright © 2013 IDG Communications, Inc.

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