Sex and the Apple Watch

When the Apple Watch was first announced, Apple called it their “most personal device ever” and it turns out that the company wasn’t kidding! Apple Watch owners have wasted no time in integrating the Apple Watch into the most…er…personal aspects of their lives. Yes, the Apple Watch is already becoming a tool to enhance intimacy between consenting adults.

Think I’m kidding or exaggerating? A redditor recently took his Apple Watch into the bedroom and shared the number of calories burned during his intimate encounter. Here’s a screenshot of his…um…achievement:

As you might imagine, his post sparked quite a discussion on the Apple Watch subreddit. Many other redditors shared their thoughts about the Apple Watch and intimacy after the original redditor asked them if they had worn their watch while having sex:

Slapjacksandham: “No. I don’t want to feel ashamed when I look at the time….ahem. In all seriousness though, this is brilliant. Thanks for the idea. I’ve always wanted to know how many calories I’m actually burning while burning the sheets.”

Phroze: “Sure, Rub it in…. You have Apple Watch and Sex in the same day. Next will be a pic of Apple Watch in your car while having sex.”

DrBTC17: “If I had my apple watch I would! :(“

iRichi3: “I actually thought about this on my way into work today. Definitely lives up to its billing as Apples most personal device ever.”

Apfpilot: “I did but I didn’t get any bump in exercise for it. Heart rate check was interesting despite the annoyed look from my wife.”

FF0000it: “You. Have. Sex. Every. Night. 😮

(As I cry into my beer, a stray tear lands on my Apple Watch)

Jay12701: “I got a standup goal during it. Apparently it just thought I was walking (didn’t do a “workout”).”

SgtWaffleStomp: “Do you gotta fire up the workout app first and kick off a workout or does the watch auto register it?”

More at Reddit

Well…hmmm…the original redditor certainly got some honest answers to his question. And funny as his post was, it’s clear that some Apple Watch owners out there are already experimenting with the new device in the most intimate parts of their lives. And who can blame them? We’re all human and people will certainly experiment with such things when given the chance.

None of this should come as a surprise to anyone, it’s pretty much par for the course for new technology to make its way into the bedroom at one point or another. We’ve seen it many times in the past with VHS video, CDs and DVDs, mobile phones, etc. Sex always ends up becoming one of the primary uses for new technologies.

A whole new category of Apple Watch apps for sexual fitness?

Apple has never been very comfortable with sex and its products. The company has tried to mostly steer clear of the topic altogether. But the reddit post about sex and the Apple Watch has me thinking that perhaps there’s an entirely new category of intimacy apps that might someday be available for adult users: sexual fitness apps.

Don’t misunderstand me here, I don’t think Apple is going to suddenly allow a bunch of seedy, sleazy apps on the Apple Watch. But it’s quite possible that apps designed to promote sexual fitness and well-being could be made available at some point for the Apple Watch. It’s not as far-fetched as it sounds.

Amazon, for example, has a section in its online store (NSFW) entirely devoted to sexual wellness. Condoms and other sexual health items are available there. So it’s entirely possible Apple might follow in Amazon’s footsteps by letting Apple Watch developers create apps focused on sexual fitness.

Of course if that happens developers will have to maintain certain standards for their apps, and refrain from blatant sexual imagery and that sort of thing. But that’s quite doable for any developer who wants to take the time to create sexual fitness apps that focus on health, well being and the achievement of intimate goals. And it would fit right in with Apple’s desire for the Apple Watch to be a serious tool for fitness tracking.

Will Apple tolerate sexual fitness apps?

Now I know that some of you reading this might think I’m crazy to even suggest that Apple would tolerate apps for the Apple Watch that promote sexual well-being and health in a fitness sense. But if you take a careful look at the current app developer guidelines, there’s really nothing in them that prohibits sexual fitness apps.

The only parts I could find that are relevant to such apps are the following two sections:

“We view Apps different than books or songs, which we do not curate…If you want to describe sex, write a book or a song, or create a medical App.”

And this:

“Apps containing pornographic material, defined by Webster’s Dictionary as “explicit descriptions or displays of sexual organs or activities intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings”, will be rejected.

Apps that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic (e.g. “Chat Roulette” Apps) will be rejected.”

I don’t think either of those things expressly forbids fitness-type apps that can be used in the bedroom by Apple Watch owners. While I could be wrong about this, my guess is that there will be some very creative (and cautious) app developers who err on the side of good taste in such apps. They might have some success if they can create sexual fitness apps that are fun and informative, but that also refrain from being lewd.

Sex apps already abound in the iOS app store

And it’s also important to note that Apple itself has also already set a precedent about sex-themed apps in the iOS App Store. I did a search for sex in the App Store via iTunes, and a whole bunch of sex-related apps came up.

The iOS app store seems to offer everything from hook up apps to sex position guides, and everything in between. Frankly, I was rather shocked when I saw the sheer number of sex-related apps in the App Store. For some reason I had assumed that Apple would frown on such apps, but the long list of them makes it pretty clear that the company has mostly made its peace with sex on its devices.

There’s no way to know if Apple will be as comfortable with sex-related apps on the Apple Watch as they seem to be with the ones that are currently available for the iPad, iPod and iPhone. But I don’t think the company can stick its head into the sand like an ostrich, and pretend that there aren’t any sex-related apps for its devices. That ship seems to have set sail a very long time ago, so I think it’s only a matter of time before the Apple Watch has a similar selection of sex-themed apps.

Here’s a screenshot of my search results in iTunes that clearly shows that sex is no stranger to Apple’s iPad, iPod and iPhone devices:

At the very least the issue is bound to come up at some point for the folks at Apple who approve Apple Watch apps. We’ll have to stay tuned to see just what they do, and just how serious the company takes the Apple Watch as a…er…fitness tracker for all aspects of a person’s life.

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