The turning point in my career arrived at the unlikeliest of times. In a single conversation that took place over two decades ago, my career trajectory and perspective on leadership were forever altered.\nIt was the autumn of 1992, and my marriage had just ended not with a whimper, but a bang. Suddenly and unexpectedly, I found myself to be both a software development manager at a $2 billion global shipping company AND a single father with joint custody of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed 4 \u00bd year-old girl. Julia.\nAside from dealing with the pain and sadness of divorce, I also found myself in a daily struggle to manage the natural work-life conflicts created by these life changes. Could I be a good and present single father while still fulfilling my career ambitions? At the time, my default thinking was \u201cno.\u201d My career ambitions could and should wait as I built a solid foundation in this newly shaped life. Besides, I worked in a rather traditional and male-dominated culture, where long hours, late night phone calls and heavy travel schedules were badges of honor. That\u2019s just how it was.\nThe conversation\nI was working late one evening on what, as a divorced parent, I labeled a \u201cnon-Julia\u201d night when the phone rang. For some reason, Roger the VP of Applications wanted to speak with me in his office. My first reaction was \u201cUh oh.\u201d I was immediately nervous, nagged by the sense that in juggling my life roles, I was doing poorly at all of them. He sat me down and after some small talk, we engaged in a conversation that went something like this\u2026\nROGER: \u201cPeter, I\u2019m promoting you to Director.\u201d\nPETER: \u201cExcuse me?\u201d\nROGER: (chuckling) \u201cI\u2019m promoting you. What did you think I wanted to talk about?\u201d\nPETER: \u201cWell Roger, I don\u2019t think you fully understand my situation\u2026\u201d\nPETER: \u201cI've recently become a single father\u2026\u201d\nPETER: \u201cI can\u2019t come in early or work late whenever I want\u2026\u201d\nPETER: \u201cI have to plan my travel on non-Julia weeks\u2026\u201d\nPETER: \u201cI\u2019ll have to rush out the door before childcare closes at 6 pm\u2026\u201d\nROGER: (with an \u2018are you done yet?\u2019 grin on his face) \u201cI know all that Peter. I\u2019m promoting you and you\u2019ll do great\u2026.\u201d\nIn retrospect, I did everything I could to talk him out of granting me the promotion, and his strong show of faith and understanding of my life circumstances meant the world to me. I would have walked through a brick wall for him.\nIn the years that followed, I often pondered this question: to whom was Roger\u2019s decision more meaningful, him or me? The answer is not as obvious as it seems. More on that in a moment.\nWhat happened next\nThis was the promotion I never saw coming. I simply didn\u2019t see what Roger saw in me and in the short-term I struggled and juggled. The key to my ultimate success in this role was that he was aware of my \u201clife story\u201d and yet was still willing to place a bet on me. This eliminated much of my worry about failure and inadequacy and allowed me to focus on being the best version of myself. Roger\u2019s trust freed me to grow into an effective leader while remaining a committed and present father. Fewer than 4 years after this promotion I became a CIO and my leadership vision had taken shape.\nLife happens\nEveryone has a life story. We all deal with life\u2019s demands that relentlessly pull us in opposing directions. It's true for you and it's true for your staff. As you demand more from your team members, they are simultaneously attempting to deal with aging and ailing parents, family demands, daycare, maintaining good health, managing finances, seeking quality time with friends and trying to serve their communities. With this knowledge, it\u2019s disingenuous AND bad business to lead your teams without understanding their increasingly complex lives by simply telling them to \u201cgo innovate!\u201d\nHowever, this doesn't mean that you don\u2019t seek top-grade talent or demand excellence from the organization you lead. Quite the opposite. It simply means that you\u2019re more likely to achieve sustainable excellence in your organization by having greater awareness of the very real life stories that reside there. And as our lives grow more complex, your ability to achieve sustainable innovation will become increasingly dependent on understanding these life stories.\nBack to Roger\nI left you dangling on the question of to whom did that moment 23 years ago mean more, me or Roger? Well, the honest answer is I don\u2019t know. While it certainly meant a great deal to me, I\u2019ll bet that as Roger observed my career progress, he did so with a great deal of deep personal satisfaction.\nI say this because of my own experience with skip-level mentoring and driving to sustain innovation over an extended career. I can say with certainty that developing leadership talent has been one of the most meaningful roles in my life, increasingly so as my career has progressed. I wonder if maybe Roger felt the same way.\nFor many years, my "story" was my commitment to being both an effective CIO and Julia's dad. All of us as leaders can unlock potential by getting at these stories in our organizations. When we do this, we free our team members from many of their private worries about how they\u2019ll achieve career success while still prospering as people. We free them to be great, which in turn sustains excellence and innovation. It feels right to lead organizations this way, and it\u2019s great business to do so.\nWhen in doubt, lean toward meaning.\nAnd one more thing. Thanks Roger.