10 “Deep Thoughts” of Telecommuters Everywhere

For the occasional telecommuter or the 24×7 worker-from-home, many deep thoughts and vexing questions pop up during the workday.

Here are 10 of my favorite.

1. Did I brush my teeth today?

A classic. Telecommuting alters your daily routines, and the teeth-brushing ritual is something that can be overlooked with ease.

2. Wow. I would never wear this outfit out in public.

There’s nothing quite like a hastily pulled together ensemble for those work-at-home mornings: 1980s-era gym shorts, purple wool socks and the sweatshirt with your family’s photo on it that your kids made you get at the state fair.

3. Did anyone on the conference call hear that?

A dog barks. Or a child screams. Or the microwave beeps to tell you your nachos are ready. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

4. My neighbor won’t care if I hop on his Wi-Fi signal. He’s usually pretty cool. Most of the time. Except when he shot fireworks at our house. And we had to call the cops.

People can get pretty desperate when they want Wi-Fi connectivity—because if you’re not online, then your boss might think you’re slacking off or out sun-tanning by your pool. (Which you’d never do during work hours.)

5. Did that enormous pile of laundry just call my name?

Just because there’s a landfill of dirty laundry present, and just because you’re at your house for the day, doesn’t mean that you actually have to do the laundry. Right? Right.

6. I could probably get as much done—if not more—if I was at Starbucks right now. For sure! And…boy, do I need a coffee!

Ahhhh, the highly rationalized Starbucks excursion! And while you’re at it, you should probably pick up your dry cleaning, drop those books off at the library, go to the bank and—just because it’s right there—get your hair done, too.

[ For more telecommuting fun, see 15 Things I Miss About the Office and 20 Crazy Things People Do to Get Wi-Fi ]

7. I hate sick kids.

Almost as much as I hate freezers devoid of popsicles when kids are sick. Nuff said.

8. Thank God no one can see me dancing to “Wanna Be Startin’ Something” and singing “Mama-Se, Mama-Sa, Mama-ku-sa.”

Be sure to disable your PC’s built-in Web camera before getting down with MJ.

9. My IT admin probably won’t care if I change this security setting so that I can…whoops. Uh-oh. That’s not good.

Trouble-shooting your own networking and PC problems is not good times. Very Bad Times.

10. It’s Friday at 4 o’clock. They’re probably goofing off at the office now, too.

It’s so easy to speculate about what is happening at the office. (And from the confines of your comfy home office, it’s way too easy to rationalize away any work-related guilt.)

Bonus: If I just left now and went for a long walk, I wonder if anyone would notice? Or care?

At this stage you need to make a trip back to the office—you’ve been gone too long!

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