Dr. ImmunityWalt has never taken one sick day during the 18 years he's been with the company\u2014and he's more than happy to brag about it to anyone \n\nwho'll listen. However, he's also spread a variety of flu-like illnesses and stomach-borne sicknesses among his coworkers over the years. His nickname? \n\nH1-NWalt. "I take my job very seriously," he likes to say. \n\nThe Lunch ThiefWhere did your Dannon yogurt cup go? Who could have possibly mistaken your can of Diet Fresca for theirs? Where is that second \n\npiece of your leftover pizza? Only the Lunch Thief knows!\n\nThe Smelly Sock King"Man, oh man...are my dogs barking today!" That's what your coworker Lenny says every day as he slips off his orthotic shoes and unleashes a \n\nrank scent throughout the office. Even in the dead-cold of winter you know when Lenny's in the office.\n\nMary MegaphoneThey can be in the office right next door or in one all the way down the hall\u2014it doesn't matter: Some coworkers are so freakin' loud and so \n\nrarely close their doors that you know more than you'd ever want to about what's going on in their lives: "Hey, Mary, how's that foot fungus of yours \n\ndoing?" The worst: The 2-hour-long conference calls (on speaker phone) or Friday afternoons when they sing along to "Come On Eileen" and other '80s \n\nhits hold tunes. Would it kill them to simply shut their doors? Evidently, yes. \n\n\n"Seagull" StanThe guy has never packed a lunch in his life and is too cheap to buy his food down in the cafeteria. So Stan practices what can best be described as \n\n"seagulling"\u2014hovering around, waiting for various lunch-time corporate get-togethers to finish up so that he can assemble his mid-day meal from \n\ntheir leftovers. Congealed mayonnaise, stale bread and unrefrigerated deli meats don't bother him one bit. "Lunch is served!" you can hear him cheering \n\nevery day around 2:30 p.m.\n\n\n"How Much Ya Bench?"Ever since your company opened a gym for employees, one of your coworkers has now taken it upon himself to become the in-house weight-lifting \n\nguru. Mr. Universe will never pass an opportunity to lift up his shirt and display his six-pack abs, or discuss the ingredients of the protein shake he's \n\ndrinking, even though no one asked. "If you need a spot, just let me know." Sure thing, bro.\n\n\nHungover Sales GuysOK, we get it, you had a "wild" time entertaining the company's clients and dropping "Hangover" and "Caddyshack" references all night \n\nlong. Great, we're all glad you might have landed some new business over a fabulous dinner and drinks. And yes, sir, we too \n\nhope the CFO is going to cover the expense report you're going to submit for that crazy evening. Now, please, get out of my office and go sleep off \n\nwhatever it is you got emanating from your pores.\n\n\nThe Real-Deal Nick BurnsHe's a geek, for sure. And he's arrogant, a tad rude and his \n\nbreath smells like Doritos and Cherry Coke: He's your company's IT support admin (aka "help desk guy"). But it's 15 minutes until you've got to deliver \n\nthat PowerPoint presentation to the bosses, and your PC is \n\nseized up. "You're so smart, Gene," you say. "Oh, I know," says he.\n\n\nMiss "That's Not My Dirty Spoon" SmithIf we each clean up after ourselves, there will be no messes, right? So what has happened in today's office: Sinks stacked high with \n\ndirty dishes, refrigerators containing "food stuffs" from the first Bush administration, and microwaves that look like a set from a Texas Chainsaw \n\nMassacre movie and smell like a cross between a fish market and wet cat food. (And let's not even get started on bathroom common spaces.) \n\n\n\n\nCube SquattersYou're trying to get work done, and all this person wants to do is keep talking about the weekend in wine country or the sister-in-law who is \n\n"sooooo annoying." (Or, like these guys, they're just hanging out in your cube waiting for the pizza to \n\narrive.) Turn your back and\u2014guess what?\u2014still there! What these coworkers lack in powers of observation they more than make up for in \n\nboring stories without end.\n\nFor more on the most outlandish cubicles, see "Cubicles Gone Wild: 13 Wacky Workspaces."