Tech: 9 Things I Still Hate About You

Depression-era food lines? That’s understandable. Waiting in terribly long lines—in the rain or in blazing hot sun—for the release of the newest iPhone? Hmmm. Obsess much?

Two decades of security research and it often still feels you’re just one unfortunate click away from infecting your computer with some virus, having your identity stolen by Eastern European hackers, or spreading malware to hundreds of millions of others on Facebook. Using public Wi-Fi at a restaurant today? It feels like a sailor going into a South Pacific port-of-call and not bringing any “protection.”

The gig is up, techies: Hiding behind acronyms and tech terminology (“It’s a SaaS-based CRM system with an intuitive UI”) is one sure way to get passed over for a promotion—or shown the door. Empowered business users just aren’t having any of it anymore. Real geeks get the business and can communicate effectively. Try some plain-old-English-as-a-Service.

You can bake a cake, pick up your dry cleaning or take the dog for a walk in the time it takes to start or restart a Windows PC. It’s all thanks to the funky gunk your PC seems to accumulate daily, slowing processing speeds similar to those of the geriatric set on Florida interstates. (You could, of course, just wipe your hard drive every six months or so. Or: Buy a Mac.)

Wait…what “rights” do users actually get with DRM technologies? Yeah, not so much.

Don’t you just hate those early adopters who love nothing better than to brag to anyone who will listen about how they’re early adopters. Whether it’s the Kindle or the Tandy TRS-80 from Radio Shack back in the late 1970s—it was just as annoying back then as it is now.

No doubt, the United States is a nation of excess—with food, with cars, with technology. How many iPods do you own and actually need? (Like this person’s collection, at left.) How much storage do you really need at work for your e-mail? Me, me, me.

Whether it’s your collection of dusty remote controls, ERP apps that don’t talk to each other, or the fact that there’s no universal charger that can work with your notebook, phone and mp3 player…ah, heck, the list goes on and on. Gadgets should play better together by now.

Sometimes, the best messages are the most simple (even if they’re misspelled).

Also, check out How 10 Famous Technology Products Got Their Names