Apple's iPhone 3GS is apparently living up to its nickname, "The Jesus Phone." After a slow day of news and some twitter chatter between @Videos4BB, @nanpalmero, @SimonSage, @azeis and myself, it’s become clear that although The Onion has a fantastic tech section, we need more parody around the mobile blogging world. Let’s see what we can do. Hot on the heels of news that a British skier had been rescued by a BlackBerry smartphone after he accidently skid down an icy ravine in the Swiss Alps, eleven-year-old Ashland, Mass.-girl Missy Mall claims her life was saved by another popular electronic gadget: The iPhone 3GS. Girly iPhone (via Appletell )“I, like, can’t live without my Lil Wayne,” a smiling Mall said, holding the heroic iPhone 3GS across her chest like a badge. “This thing is so freakin’ cool. I got ‘The Carter,’ ‘The Carter II,’ and ‘Rebirth’ on the same playlist, it’s one big CD, ‘cept the songs are mixed up like a whole new album.” Lil Wayne tracks, as well as other music, video and audio from school dances can also be played back with or without “headbuds,” Mall says. “This little thing literally, like, saved my life,” she says. “I wouldn’t be sitting here without it.” Mall went on to describe how life would have been different had her father, 36-year-old Deven Mall, not finally given into her months-long pleading and purchased the iPhone as a gift for a straight-A grade in Ms. Snell’s sixth grade algebra course. “Right now, Kelly Schwinn and all the other popular girls think I’m cool…or hot, you know?” says Mall, still gripping the iPhone like it might run off at any second. “That’s not for nothing. I gave Kelly a few live Wayne tracks I downloaded last week, and now I might be going to her party on Saturday–when she invites me.” The elder Mall doesn’t regret buying the iPhone or paying the monthly service bills, though he admits his daughter is actually more difficult to reach in person because she can’t ever hear anyone but “Tiny Wade.” “I don’t really get it, but she loves the stupid thing,” says Deven Mall. “I gotta say, in my experience, there’s nothing like an iPhone to get kids excited about education. Apple’s really on to something.” (For more “witty,” tech-oriented satire, read “Blogger Shunned, Skewered After Busted Rumour.” AS Related content brandpost Sponsored by SAP Generative AI’s ‘show me the money’ moment We’re past the hype and slick gen AI sales pitches. Business leaders want results. By Julia White Nov 30, 2023 5 mins Artificial Intelligence brandpost Sponsored by Zscaler How customers capture real economic value with zero trust Unleashing economic value: Zscaler's Zero Trust Exchange transforms security architecture while cutting costs. By Zscaler Nov 30, 2023 4 mins Security brandpost Sponsored by SAP A cloud-based solution to rescue millions from energy poverty Aware of the correlation between energy and financial poverty, Savannah Energy is helping to generate clean, competitively priced electricity across Africa by integrating its old systems into one cloud-based platform. By Keith E. Greenberg, SAP Contributor Nov 30, 2023 5 mins Digital Transformation feature 8 change management questions every IT leader must answer Designed to speed adoption and achieve business outcomes, change management hasn’t historically been a strength of IT orgs. It’s time to flip that script by asking hard questions to hone change strategies. By Stephanie Overby Nov 30, 2023 10 mins Change Management Change Management IT Operations Podcasts Videos Resources Events SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER From our editors straight to your inbox Get started by entering your email address below. Please enter a valid email address Subscribe