If you get only one chance to make a first impression, then it's reasonable to wonder about the obvious and lasting impressions that ERP vendors names make. After all, wouldn't you rather be a Mel than a Melvin? And in high-tech, it's proven that the perfect name can help sell a new product or service for a long, long time. Just for some fun, here's a naming critique of the major players in the enterprise software industry: Sage: What about the Parsley, Rosemary and Thyme? Epicor: Sounds like a frat boy's definition of a really excellent weekend of partying: "It was an epicor bash, dude!!" SAP: "Sap." Yeah. Infor: Seems like something got cut off. Infor-what? NetSuite: Obviously named during the dotcom boom when everyone and their brother were being christened with the prefix "Net." QAD: One word: BAD. IBS: Um, IBS also stands for "Irritable Bowel Syndrome." I'm just saying. Deltek: "I'm known as Deltek, and I, too, will join the Rebellion in the fight against the evil Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire." PeopleSoft: Makes me think of warm and fuzzy thoughts\u2014like kitty cats and cozy blankets. Ahhhhhh. J.D. Edwards: Wasn't that a character on The Dukes of Hazzard? Lawson: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Workday: All kinds of negative connotations associated with "workday": too long, sometimes tedious and occasionally boring. Was "Vacationday" already taken? Agresso: We're "aggressive," but with a European flair! Microsoft: Wait. They sell ERP software? Seriously, for real? Intacct: The extra "c" is for the "confusion" we had at the printer's shop, which made a mistake on our first set of business cards. Exact: Maybe we should put an extra "c"\u2014Exacct\u2014on our solution name, too? Oracle: In case you already didn't know this, we are god-like: We speak the truth from on high. Do you Tweet? Follow me on Twitter @twailgum. Follow everything from CIO.com on Twitter @CIOonline.