10. After an intense strategy meeting, top military brass decided HP Touchpads are the way to go.
U.S. Military Logic: The iPad connects to the App Store. The App Store offers GoodReader. GoodReader was made by a Russian software developer. Russia was our Cold War enemy. The iPad is bad!
8. Pilots will be playing Angry Birds during flights. Boomerang bird!
7. If we start giving iPads to pilots and navigators, soon everyone will want one.
6. We’re waiting for a secure partition on the iPad running virtualized Windows Vista with software not optimized for touch or screen size… hey, it beats paper manuals.
5. Can’t trust those liberal Silicon Valley Apple types.
4. After extensive field research, after millions of taxpayer dollars, a CIA report to the Armed Forces concludes that the iPad is a fad.
3. Like the rest of the U.S. military, the Air Force is terribly upset about overseas working conditions at Apple supplier factories.
2. Whoa, we almost bought iPad 2s when iPad 3s are coming out. That would have been quite the snafu!
1. Paper is due to make a comeback.