You probably don't need me to tell you that we live in perilous times. At this very moment a terrorist hacker in Somewheristan is preparing to unleash what former Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta called a "cyber 9\/11." With just a flick of a switch, we could all be left without electricity, water or Netflix for who knows how long.\n\tSome of you probably laughed when I mentioned Netflix, but I did it for two reasons. First, to see if you are paying attention and, second, to get you thinking about your homes because, ladies and gentlemen, the home is the greatest and most-overlooked target today. Thankfully, my company \u00a0-- PurplexUs Inc. LLC -- is here to help protect you, your belongings and your loved ones.\n\tBathroom scales, refrigerators, rice cookers, garage-door openers, ovens, clothes, washers, light switches and toothbrushes\u2013do you know what they all have in common?\n\tI didn\u2019t think so.\n\tAll these devices can be used by a terrorist to kill you once they\u2019ve been connected to the Internet\u2013AND SOME OF THEM ARE ALREADY CONNECTED!\n\tToday you can turn on your\u00a0rice cookers at any time via laptop. The same for your iPad, smartphone, Xbox and nose ring! Think about that for a moment. A terrorist could burn down your house while you sleep simply by turning on your rice cooker when it is empty, disabling anything that might cause it to turn off if it overheats and then start a fire.\n\tImagine what could happen with an Internet-ready oven. Just pre-heat and it becomes a flaming pile of stainless-steel molten metal!\n\tSure, being able to open your garage door from the comfort of your office seems like a great thing, but keep in mind that what goes up MUST COME DOWN! And it could come down just as you are driving under it!\n\tEven a seemingly harmless device like the new Internet-ready refrigerator is a threat. Sure it seems like a convenience to have a fridge that monitors its contents and places an order to the store when you get low on something, but is that really all it can be used for?\n\tWhat if it substituted whole milk for low-fat? Or industrial-farmed butter berries for organic? Or Snickers\u00ae\u00a9\u2122 for tofu? Pretty soon you\u2019d be a toxic waste-land of genetically-modified food chemicals with a cholesterol level higher than the Dow Jones\u00ae\u00a9\u2122 average! (And I\u2019m not talking about the good kind of cholesterol, either!)\n\tNo way could that happen because you would notice your weight going up, right? Well, guess again. All a terrorist has to do is hack into your Internet-ready bathroom scale and mirror and you would never know. While you\u2019re turning into the bigger, fatter Goodyear\u00ae\u00a9\u2122 blimp, you\u2019d be thinking: Hey, I lost some more weight! Hey, I look like George Clooney!\n\tFortunately, this does not have to happen to you. The PurplexUs\u00ae\u00a9\u2122 Corporation\u2019s new Stop Terrorists from Invading Your Home Protection Service\u00ae\u00a9\u2122 will let you protect your belongings and your loved ones from this terrifying, terrifying threat.\n\tHow does it work? Good question. It monitors all your devices and establishes a baseline usage algorithm for each and every member of your family! If it spots even the slightest variation in usage patterns it automatically notifies the Department of Homeland Security to send an emergency terrorist-fumigation team to your home.\n\tIt works so well you may never even notice it\u2019s there!\n\tSo, quick, call now, operators are standing by.